honesty the best policy?

so there might be a few times when i wish our kids weren’t telling the truth (or at least as they see it)

 

jameson : (passing the pond in our neighbor’s paddock) when are we going to go fishing again?

me : um, i don’t know. you should ask daddy to take you

jameson : yeah, we haven’t gone fishing in a while. all we do every night is watch movies, we don’t do anything.

me : this from the kid who asks at least 5 times during dinner if we can watch a movie tonight, even though we only watch one a week normally!

 

jameson : patience has poop in her bed. and it’s all over her.

me : (not really listening) oh, yeah?

jameson : yeah, and she’s standing in it and has it on her blankie

me : okay…wait, what? what are you talking about?

jameson : patience. poop.

 

jameson : why do you and mom fight all the time? 

jimmy and me : um….what?

 

me : (as jameson grabs the duster) jameson, it’s ok, you can go out and play. i’m not doing a “big” cleaning, i’m just sweeping up the cereal that patience dropped.

jameson : nah, i’m gonna help. this place is getting dirty!

 

mercy : (after a bit of a temper tantrum on my part) i’m sorry for you being so mean

 

jameson : do you have another baby in your belly? (rubbing my babyless tummy) your belly is sooo big!

me : good thing i started running

things i think about while running

i started.  up until a few weeks ago, a sign a friend posted on fb said it all about me: I never run with scissors. those last two words were unnecessary. and then i started the couch to 5k program. but to keep you from being too impressed, i’m doing my 6th week of week one.

:: i hate running (yes, i literally think this every time i start out. don’t tell me about positive reinforcement, i’ve tried it before and it hasn’t worked so i’m going with honesty being the best policy here with myself)

:: it’s a beautiful morning. so nice and cool…man, this is gonna suck when it gets hot

:: what a great place to run. thank you, God, that our Y is right here in such a beautiful place along the river with the wildlife

:: i love the diversity of people out exercising

:: i hate running

:: it’s kinda nice when i pass a creepy guy on the path – motivates me to keep going so i don’t have to think about him being behind me

:: don’t pass out, you don’t want to land in an ant hill

:: yoga is going to feel so good after this

:: i hate running

:: there is another creepy person and there really is no place for a concealed weapon in running clothes

:: almost time to walk again, i can make it  - darn, i don’t want to pass this person and then slow down to walk right in front of them. i should just slow now. yep.

:: breathe! wait, am i supposed to breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth? or should i try to breathe in and out through my nose and save panting for when i’m really tired? i just need to text travis and ask him.

:: i have to have the loudest, heaviest footfall ever

:: you know, a person could just jump out of those bushes and grab someone and no one would ever know. i need to tell my friends that i never make eye contact or talk with anyone on the trail…that way when the “helpful” bystander is interviewed and says he remembers passing me because we smiled and said hi, they’ll know he’s the one who did it because he’s lying because i never make eye contact or talk to anyone…a little focus here, please.

:: when is the euphoria i always hear about supposed to kick in?

:: lose the weight, lose the weight. it’ll be worth it

:: aaagghhhhhh! i. hate. running.

:: ok, almost back…crap, i should have been using this time to pray…

:: whew. man, do i hate running

:: i love yoga. and a smoothie. and lying on my yoga mat.

buzz gets a day job

look how happy he is to be scooping cow pies from the play yard! i’m sure if we ask him to do this in five years he will moan, complain and roll his eyes…or if he doesn’t, it will only be because i have let him know there are serious consequences for such behavior. i remember begging my parents to let me do the dishes. dragging a kitchen table chair to the sink so i could reach and promising not to break anything. now, other than putting laundry away, it is my most dreaded chore. (well, and after cleaning the floors. i promise, i don’t even get upset anymore when one of the kids spills a drink…i just figure it’s the only time our floors get cleaned)

when do we change from excited to bored? and honestly, more importantly, why?

conversations

in the car with buzz

buzz : this place looks familiar, have i been here before?

mercy : no!

buzz : this is buzz lightyear reporting for sector duty, who’s in charge here?

mercy : i am!

buzz : i think the word you’re looking for is space ranger

mercy : …space? ranger?

mercy baking in her kitchen while i am making dinner

happy birthday to me, happy birthday to myself, happy birthday to mercy, happy birthday to me …pfffffff!

 

friday, after jameson turned four on thursday

me : yes, remember we did that on monday?

jameson : oh. is that when i was three?

me : yes

jameson : that’s what i thought

getting ready for a shower

jameson : why does it rain?

me : that is the way God made it. the rain makes all the green things grow

jameson : yes, God makes it rain

me : yes he does

jameson : it rains in here, too (pointing to the shower)

me : yes, it kind of does, doesn’t it?

jameson : yes, it does. you make it rain in here. i think you must be God!

 

polishing mercy’s nails

mercy : what is this called?

me : nail polish

mercy : oh. (pause) why does emily go to college?

me : (that is an interesting non-sequitor) well, she wants to be a teacher and so she is going to learn how to be one. she wants to teach like jen does.

mercy : oh. (pause) what is jen’s name?

me : jen’s name is jen, silly girl!

mercy : oh. (pause) i like my nail college, it’s pretty!

me : (and now it makes sense!) (kind of)

round 2 (dingdingding)

mama: 1

Hester Plague: 1

i succumbed. last time we were visited by a Plague, i did fine. this time, everyone but the boy went down. knocked me out second day. and on my birthday. and it wasn’t pretty. not by a long shot. i will not elaborate but only say that i am glad i have been using boudreaux’s butt paste on the kids all these years…because i now know it works.