things i think about while running

i started.  up until a few weeks ago, a sign a friend posted on fb said it all about me: I never run with scissors. those last two words were unnecessary. and then i started the couch to 5k program. but to keep you from being too impressed, i’m doing my 6th week of week one.

:: i hate running (yes, i literally think this every time i start out. don’t tell me about positive reinforcement, i’ve tried it before and it hasn’t worked so i’m going with honesty being the best policy here with myself)

:: it’s a beautiful morning. so nice and cool…man, this is gonna suck when it gets hot

:: what a great place to run. thank you, God, that our Y is right here in such a beautiful place along the river with the wildlife

:: i love the diversity of people out exercising

:: i hate running

:: it’s kinda nice when i pass a creepy guy on the path – motivates me to keep going so i don’t have to think about him being behind me

:: don’t pass out, you don’t want to land in an ant hill

:: yoga is going to feel so good after this

:: i hate running

:: there is another creepy person and there really is no place for a concealed weapon in running clothes

:: almost time to walk again, i can make it  – darn, i don’t want to pass this person and then slow down to walk right in front of them. i should just slow now. yep.

:: breathe! wait, am i supposed to breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth? or should i try to breathe in and out through my nose and save panting for when i’m really tired? i just need to text travis and ask him.

:: i have to have the loudest, heaviest footfall ever

:: you know, a person could just jump out of those bushes and grab someone and no one would ever know. i need to tell my friends that i never make eye contact or talk with anyone on the trail…that way when the “helpful” bystander is interviewed and says he remembers passing me because we smiled and said hi, they’ll know he’s the one who did it because he’s lying because i never make eye contact or talk to anyone…a little focus here, please.

:: when is the euphoria i always hear about supposed to kick in?

:: lose the weight, lose the weight. it’ll be worth it

:: aaagghhhhhh! i. hate. running.

:: ok, almost back…crap, i should have been using this time to pray…

:: whew. man, do i hate running

:: i love yoga. and a smoothie. and lying on my yoga mat.


things i love because it’s winter

:: hot, fresh bread, dripping with butter and honey

:: crock pot meals cooking all day

:: impromptu hot chocolate breaks

:: my favorite blanket and book(s) (currently the pioneer woman cooks and brennan manning’s memoirs)

:: sweaters and socks and scarves

:: afternoon coffee while coloring with the kids

:: living in florida…because tomorrow, it’ll be spring

ok, so i really like all these things pretty much all the time, but winter gives me a pass on all the butter and sugar. kinda.

over-thinking pollyanna

i’m sitting at the table in my best friend’s kitchen, helping myself to leftovers from her fridge while she naps upstairs with jameson. i just sent her daughter outside to play after letting her out of “time-out” and mercy is on the couch, playing her way through her naptime. why is it so much more enjoyable to clean my friend’s kitchen than my own? and so much easier to discipline her children than my own? and jameson would nev-ver (let me repeat, neeeeeeeeever) lay down for a nap with me without starting the battle of armageddon first. but did i hear a peep out of him as she carried him upstairs and put him to bed? nope, nary a sniffle or a kick.

this is the kind of overlap my heart yearns for. being able to sit down for a conversation instead of one (or both) of us holding the phone on our ear with our shoulder (which, with these ridiculously shrinking cell phones gets harder every time i get a new one), managing a whiny kid on one side, refereeing a water fight on the other, helping someone find the elmo that has disappeared in the wreckage of morning play, all while trying to drive in a straight line…the grocery cart, not the car, people!

so this past week, we have had the time to sit in her kitchen and living room and have real dialogue and i can’t remember how many cups of coffee. of course, we’re still dealing with all of the stuff above, minus the cricks in our necks, but we’re doing it together, and we’re face to face, and we aren’t having to rush through conversations so we can get it all in before someone on one side has a meltdown that has to be addressed. and we have been able to let our conversation spill out and flow where it will. so much so that we were talking about pollyanna and how dialogue-driven the movie is; she has to stop every so often and ask her kids if they understand what is going on. of course, it was made for a different generation of kids who were excited to see a movie and didn’t need the “bells and whistles” of special effects and exploding cars, buildings, airplanes. and, her kids, really, are only six and four, so she can’t expect them, necessarily, to understand everything in the movie. and then we realized that we were probably thinking about it a little too much. but it is a luxury i am glad we shared.

life after (during) pneumonia

vacation – is that possible with two small children? i mean, is it really restful? we came back from this “vacation” at my grandparents’ (or, grandpa great and grandma great as we settled on calling them) needing three rounds of antibiotics, hold the ear meds, please! what a trip! so my mom is great, and all, but it just made me realize how wonderful my husband is. not just because he painted the kitchen and dining area while i was gone, or because he surprised me and pulled all the icky, green carpet out of our bedroom and replaced it with wood flooring, but because i realized how well we work together taking care of our family. don’t get me wrong, we don’t agree on everything child-related, but we do have a way that makes the day-to-day stuff flow. i love his involvement and missed it while i was gone.

jameson turned two yesterday.  strange to think that i’ve only known him for two years. i’ve got bras older than he is. but what a crazy love i have for him. i remember, when he was just a few months old, jimmy told me how it was weird that he’d only known him a short time, but was already willing to fight for him or die for him. i wonder what it is in that little tiny person that is able to generate such instant loyalty and love. love their sweet little faces!

jimmy is on the way home and called to ask me to put on a pot of decaf coffee! ?? this is the man who only drinks coffee in the morning and thinks starbuck’s is a waste of money (which it is, but an enjoyable waste of money) and would normally rather go without morning coffee if it isn’t caffeinated.  oh, and in regards to my earlier post about getting out the french press, i remembered why it’s in the back of the tallest cabinet – we don’t have a disposal in our sink and i can’t just pour the grinds down the drain…which means i have to throw them in the trash…which is a huge pain when you’ve filtered all the water out and the grinds are all sticky and don’t want to come out of of the bottom of the press. so, i’m off to make that pot of decaf in my electric coffee maker with the paper filter that i can conveniently toss…and it will taste just fine, drinking it in bed with my wonderful husband and our new wood floor!

i know i already did this today…

but it was actually something i started the other night and didn’t have time to get back to any earlier.

wait, i’m going to make some coffee.

ok, better. had to use my mini french press (all this blog reading has made me dig it out) since we broke our large one traveling back from wyoming. apparently, socks aren’t as good as packing peanuts. and jimmy now has a hot mug of echinacea tea with honey for his sore throat. and i’m ready.

bedtime tonight was sweet. my favorite room in the house is the kids’ room. *on a side note – this is probably because we have not yet redone our room, i expect that when that happens, it will be my favorite room*  i love the soft brown (i secretly call it “chocolate milk”) and minty green of the room and the clean, white lines of the crown moulding and trim my uncle and cousins put in for us before jameson was born. and there is the best oversized stuffed rocking chair, the acquisition of which is its own story, with a fabulous ottoman. i was rocking mercy in this chair, jameson was in his crib, and this really great fisher price mobile was projecting fish and stars and swirls on the ceiling and walls while playing a lullaby. i don’t know what the mobile is actually called because i bought it from someone on craigslist, but i will say it is likely my favorite baby purchase.

in the chair with his favorite book - the jesus storybook bible

canning jars. made some baby food for mercy today and i really like these stubby wide-mouth jars from ball. i have been using them for leftovers in my never-ending quest to rid myself of plastic containers.

apples and pears with cinnamon, peas, and sweet potatoes

camera. was playing around with the camera today and found a really great feature called “color accent.” had some fun with mercy’s cute pink and red polka dot fleece. also pressed the shutter release button (is it still called that on a digital camera?) halfway down while pointing it at shadow, then moved it to a lighter spot for the picture. loved the look, but hard to take pics of mercy with slow shutter speed since she is only still when sleeping.

jameson. just wanted to post this picture because it made me laugh when i saw it. i asked jameson to clean up his toys but said he could leave the farm animals on the window sill where he’d been playing with them if he wanted. and this is what he did.

new outlook on the farm